Cronuts

The kiosk inside The Andersons on Talmadge spells it with a 'C' - Cronuts. I guess the store should be warned.

They could change the spelling to Crownuts.

Or how about this name

Expensive-Ass-Fad-Doughnut-That-Costs-More-But-You-Get-Less

Pansy-ass Cronut pastry. I mean really. You're telling me that a manufacturing town in farm country is going to tolerate shit like this? This might be fine in Columbus or Sissynnati but not in a Great Lakes port city like T-town that loves hockey and Harleys. I now deny eating one. It's embarrassing.

We want something that lingers inside the body for months after consumption. Here in the Rust Belt, we eat these small boulders. But why aren't they available year-round? Is it a death-toll thing? We have enough frigging hospitals and medical centers around here to support a large-scale consumption of paczkis. It's a real pastry when an errant toss can cause a concussion.