What Toledo's new mayor should have said

Toledo mayor PH2 was sworn in yesterday. Blade story :

The new mayor said the city administration must attract living-wage jobs, create livable spaces, and show young people that they can make Toledo their home.

Unfortunately, no specific mention from the mayor about fixing the f*cking roads.

It would have been memorable if PH2 would have said something like this after officially becoming Toledo's new mayor:

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"Thank you all for attending this ceremony, but I know why you are here. You want something from me. You are hoping to schmooze me for some taxpayer money."

"Well, I'm here to tell you, 'Back off bitches.' I never imagined being mayor. This has occurred under the most unfortunate circumstances. But now that I am mayor, I'm going to make the most of my short time in this office."

"I do not plan to run for mayor this fall. That means I don't have to listen to your smarmy, double-speak. I'm going to lead this government to focus on one thing: Fixing Toledo's f*cked-up roads."

"Our roads have become an embarrassment. We need to ensure that this most basic function, decent roads, is fulfilled in 2015."

"If you have a problem with that, then f*ck you. Your priorities are whacked. And if anyone else on city clowncil introduces asinine legislation like District 5 bonehead Farmer Tom Waniewski did last week, then I will personally kick your ass down the street."

"If you want to joke around, save it for open mic night at the bar. When you are working as a representative of the citizens of Toledo, then focus on fixing the f*cking roads, or you will feel my wrath."

"Thank you. Now f*ck off."

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Where's the passion?

#humor #toledo #politics